HOLY SPIRIT, MY FRIEND, MY COUNSELOR

Let go! Open up! Allow me! You are always asking for this but you won’t open up to receive! The Holy Spirit nudged me in my spirit. I wanted to scream at Him. What did He want from me? Why won’t He leave me alone? I had given Him a part of me but no, he wants it all…. For weeks, I anticipated my birthday, anticipated the gifts I couldn’t wait to receive from my Abba. Yet here I was rejecting all that He had to give to me because I had formed the habit of holding back, so much that I didn’t know how to let Him in. I stood on that stage watching as people were communing with the Holy Spirit and receiving from Him, and there I was, thinking why am I feeling like a stone pillar. I knew in my spirit that I had closed up and I couldn’t let go. Years of being hurt and disappointed constantly and healing in my own way by building walls around my heart, was robbing me of true intimacy with the Holy Spirit. I desired to have koinonia with my Abba, but how could I have that when I wouldn’t allow him to break me and pour into me that sweet, heavenly fragrance that will draw people to come and drink from the well he has dug in me? In as much as I held back, I knew there was one thing I could not deny. The sweetness of His presence. The warmth, the loving calm. How could I deny myself of this, when that was all my heart cried for? All those days of frustrations and moments of depression pointed to one thing! THE PRESENCE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. Holy Spirit, help me. Help me to let go. I don’t know how. Please I need you to help. Without exaggeration or drama, I felt something give way. I broke down. Now who says such tears are not overwhelming? I felt such release I had not felt in like forever! I am not saying He is through with me yet. Oh no. this is the beginning. I dared to break my Alabaster box with the help of the Holy Spirit and this journey; I wouldn’t trade for all the Kelewele in Ghana. Now these words ring true to me as each day passes with me enjoying my Abba like never before; The day God apprehended me and got hold of me It was for this purpose; That I be a reservoir of His presence, love and other gifting, Also his express image, That I may show forth his glory and man may drink from the well He has dug.